xX Time is a healer Xx

New year! Hope that this year will be a good one. =)

2011-01-07T20:55:00.000Z

Well... it's already the new year and it's been ages since i've updated my blog... so I'm taking this small opportunity (before the busy buzz kicks in) to write a little something. =)

Hrm hrm... How should i start?

To all the people that I love, namely Evil Bunny Kins, Miyage and Okuni... My bestest buddies in the whole entire universe, know that I love you, miss you and care for you and will always be there for you, although not physically...=(

If there is anything troubling you, know that you can always talk to me about it, although I may not be a good advisor, but I am a good listener... so just let me be there for you girls as how you have been there for me when i needed you the most.

And... hrm... I hope that this year will be kind to everyone that I care about. I hope that things will go smoothly for all and that you guys enjoy your time the best you can! And hopefully, you guys can keep your new year resolutions on the way. ;)

Know that a new year is a new beginning so start out fresh! Do something new! I know i would! Lately, i've been really motivated to go on diet and keep fit... eventhough it's winter! And so far, the good news is that I've lost one dress size~ ah~ so happy~ though my weight is still like that...=3='' But i guess it's the weight of my muscles? Hrm...

I have another weird new year resolution and that is to keep off carrots and papaya! Because... You know what... is expanding... =3=''

anyway, I'm going to keep doing my best, and do everything full heartedly. I hope you girls will too!

xoxo
Karine

Again, I have to vent my pants off or i'll REALLY fall apart!!!

2010-05-15T04:42:00.000+01:00

Today, once again, I am pissed of by miss Bitchy Princess!! I mean, what the hell? Just because your parents are rich, you can skip class just because you don't feel like it? What is wrong with this girl?! Grr, did you also forget that we were suppose to discuss about something today too? What? You don't feel like it either? And please, I can be friends with anyone i want to be friends with, that is not something you can decide!

Seriously, it's not like she's stupid or anything, she can sense that you are angry or distressed. But somehow or rather, she will either just play dumb or just blurt out an insolent, insincere sorry just to make you feel happy, when she's in the wrong. Well boo hoo. I am not someone you can mess around with. Please, please, please do not, i repeat DO NOT say sorry if you're not! Do you even know what you're sorry for? Or are you even aware of what you did wrong even? Sorry, is not something you say to end things. You say sorry to express a sense of regret AND will try not to repeat it. NOT apologize, move on and REPEAT what you did to make me so pissed off!!! WTH?

And honestly, please please, please just tell if you're unhappy with how i handle things. Being sad and mad and tattling and bad mouthing me behing my back isn't going to help you solve your problem. Or better yet, detach yourself from my group and get lost! Get a life, will you? I do not TOLERATE miss prissy's spoilty brattiness. Seriously, if you're gonna keep at it like this for the rest of your life? I ASSURE you, you will not make it far.

Next, please do not expect everyone to bear your temper... it's really tiring. We can not suck up, kiss ass, adore, pamper and comfort you all the time. And i mean, ALL THE TIME!

Awwww, you have a problem? you need comforting, you need consolation? Well, EVERYONE HAVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS! And do you know how people handle their problems? They suck in their guts, bite their lips with their chest held high and FACE the problem! Face to face, one on one, heads on. Seriously, I don't know which pit hole you've been hiding in for the rest of your life until now,but please ADAPT and GROW UP!!!

Sheesh...

Super FRUST!!!!!! KARINE IN DANGER MODE.

2010-04-30T11:51:00.000+01:00

Gahhhhh!!! Lately I'm just super duper frustrated!!~

Over the time i'm here in KL, I've bonded with quite a few people, and there's this one girl in particular that I am friends with... She's really charming and girl y and nice( something that will take me 100 evolutions to become), and I thought, wow, what a wonderful person. And now we're in a group and our working experience together has been nothing but agony and pain.

No offense, but what a pain in the ass!!!

Even though she is efficient in her work, she complains and whines a lot. She thinks that she's the only one contributing the most and that other people's efforts are inferior compared to hers.

She kept on harping on how stressful and how huge her responsibility is. Other than that, she WANTED to take MORE responsibility herself, but after that she kept saying that the leader (that's me) keep giving her responsibilities that are too big for her to chew, and what's worst, she did it behind my back! I mean, come on! just tell me if you're job is too stressful! I'll just add those burden to my already heavy burden, that's all, no big deal.

And what's more, she kept on saying she don't want to present, she don't want to do this, she don't want to do that... But the truth is, she wants to contribute but wants people to abide, praise and beg her more! For a few days, the other group members and I were saying " do it please~, please do it, just present, you can present very well, you're English is the best amongst all of us (but actually I'm better, eckhem.) so on and so forth. AND IN THE END SHE'LL RELUCTANTLY SAY YES, BUT REPEATS THIS ACT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY!!! WHAT THE F**K!

grrrr... too bad that my other team member's English is not that good... the 2 presenters for our group assignment had to be her and I. BUT I SWEAR, IF SHE REPEATS THIS AGAIN... I'll switch her off with the others. I don't care if their English isn't slangy.

Grrrr... we were suppose to present today and get things over with, but there isn't enough time and the were some group who cut queues!!! Now my stress has to be with me until next Monday!!! GAHHHHHHHH!!! MOTHER F**KERS!!!! SON OF A B***H!!!!!!!

I hope I can change groups soon... I hope the group is not permanent...

But one good thing is that, i saw my crush today~

That will be all. =x=

New Start in KL

2010-04-06T05:54:00.000+01:00

The semi independent life is too sweet to savour, while the loneliness is strangely inviting...

Anyway, here's what is going on lately...

1. I have less than 6 hours of sleep everyday and soon to reduce to 4 hours ( if i'm lucky)...
2. I commute to school everyday on shuttle bus (and darn those busses for picking students up only after 2pm...)
3. I made lots of new friends! yay, LOL.
4. I'm making an effort to visit my brother every weekend.
5. Currently interested in architecture, i think its due to my competitiveness... I wanna win those bloody guys... hehe.
6. I miss my friends and family very very much!
7. ...But i usually fall asleep when i get home and couldn't call them...
8. I love broadband but it is extremely slow... But at least i could go online.
9. I'm going to blog as much as i can, with 10 things to tell on my posts-to-be.
10. I'll keep you guys posted. Muax muax.

Peace.

The Power Of Friendship!!!~~~and some other stuff.

2009-01-24T05:44:00.000Z

Don't have much time and not in the mood.So i'll just keep it short and sweet.

So yesterday was our school's annual fitness run. Pumpkin, Nuts and I met up in the canteen. We're all aiming to get one point for our house since its our senior year here in Lok Yuk. I'm aiming for a point, yup, just one point for my house---Uranus.Yea!!!Burning flame. But i was also quite discouraged that we have to finish the 5.5km run in 45 minutes. So, as usual Pumpkin came up with a plan. We need run in the start. Reach Tanjung Lipat in approximately 25 minutes and 20 minutes to reach school. Sounds easy? IT'S NOT!!! RAWRRRRHHHhhhh...

We assembled in the hall and after some crap speech, we went out and waited for the run to start. We were seriously running like hell... Trying to keep up with Eileen and Karen. But that only went on for like 5 minutes...Then they were out of sight...So sad. So i was alone with Pumpkin. But that kept me motivated. I was struggling to keep up with her all the time, I'm not nearly as fit as her and i don't want to used up all my energy from the start, so i tried to keep it evenly spread through out the whole run. Silly lines like:Jia you, Jia you, and tempo beats like 1,2,3,4,2,2,3,4...came up... Just to keep us motivated. When we reach Tanjung Lipat we were both out of breath. So we held hands and recited d tempo(inside our head), swinging our hand while we go. A lot of people are in the way, so it was like a overtake spree. We passed CKK once, YHK once, Eileen and Karen once, Soh twice. This really burn up our spirit~~~for a few seconds.
=.=''

I don't know how to describe the feeling, but its like a sense of comfort and a bit of power. So the hold hands system was like i push her on when she gets tired and she pushes me on when i'm tired. So its like mutual pushing. In the end i knew that she couldn't take it anymore, actually both of us can't, because we can't even sprint when we want to. So we just walk slowly, when we reach school it might have been around 48 minutes already.. We're so disappointed... But then the teacher keeps waving her hand, giving us the come here gesture, we had hope!!!~~~

So we got a point. Yay. I guess 100 plus does give people motivation too.haha. That's what we had wanted when we reach school. It's funny when you think about it...

So i awarded myself with a trophy ice cream(eventhough it's overpriced,rm2.50 man..)and a cold nice, fizzy 100 plus.

After that is the assembly again,
Uranus got 1st, with 102 points.
Zuhal is in 2nd.
Musytari in third. Broke record.
Marikh in Last. Shocking. Broke the record too.

and the funny thing is that, Hopperilla got number eight in the run for male's group A. while soh had gastric and walk in the girl's route.

Truly shocking.

>w<

2008-12-11T16:48:00.000Z

lol.. tagged again haha..
Here it goes *w*

Question: What is your name? (Please give one answer)
1] Karine Goh

Question: What is your nickname? (Please give two answers)
1] Mei, Jie (family)
2] Karine (friends)

Question: Three books which you often read? (Please give three answers)
1] Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars =) (recently)
2] Biology Form4 Textbook
3] The sociology of Men

Question: The things gained from Blogging? (Please give four answers)
1]My sanctuary
2]A place to vent out feelings
3]Share experience and events ^^
4]My English deteriorate

Question: Your favorite food? (Please give five answers)
1] Chocolate
2] Cheesy wedges
3] Zinger Burger
4] McDonald's Double Cheese Burger
5] Spagetti

Question: Favorite songs? (Please give six answers)
1] A Blossom Fell-Nat King Cole
2] Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight-ABBA
3] La Vie En Rose-Edith Piaf
4]If You Love Me-Olivia Newton John
5] L.O.V.E-Nat King Cole
6] Catch a Falling Star-Perry Como

Question: Places that you wish to go? (Please give seven answers)
1] Japan
2] Paris
3] Rome
4] Italy
5] England
6] New York(woots~broadway~~~)
7] The entire world except Malaysia, and other countries beneath it.

Question: All-time favorite movies, dramas, or animes? (Please give eight answers)
1] Anime - Howl's Moving Castle
2] Anime - Totoro
3] Anime - Princess Mononoke
4] Anime - Grave of the Fireflies
5] Anime - Spirited Away
6] Anime - Metropolis
7] Anime - Poco Rosso
8] Anime - Piano Forest

Question: Items that you wish to obtain? (Please give nine answers)
1] G-pen
2] Tone paper
3] Skills of a pro when drawing manga
4] Skills of using photoshop, Autocad, Photo Image, Sketch up.
5] Money
6] Self Confidence
7] All the knowledge in the world, esp lingual abilities.
8] Adoration(lol)
9] my own clothing line

Question: You want to pass this tag to? (Please give the names of 10 friends)
1] Amanda Lok
2] Amanda Avril
3] Lily
4] Dav
5] Naomi
6] Natalia
7] Pawsoh
8] My sis
9] Miy
10] Hopperilla

More taggies~~~yay.==''

2008-12-11T16:28:00.000Z

The first letter of my name
K

4 LETTER WORD:

Kite

BOY NAME:

Kelvin

GIRL NAME:
Kristy

SURNAME:
Kardashian

OCCUPATION:

Key Keeper

A COLOR:

Khaki Green

SOMETHING YOU WEAR:

Khaki Jeans

BEVERAGE:

Kirchwasser

FOOD:

Kiwi

SOMETHING FOUND IN BATHROOM:

Kleenex Tissue

A PLACE:
Kyoto

REASON FOR BEING LATE:

Kid threw eggs on me

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT:

Kristy~ur so cute~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU'RE tagged!
People whose names starts with the letter C.

Forced to do this by evil bunny kins, but i guess thr's justice in the world.in ur face.haha.

2008-12-07T15:32:00.000Z

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your blog).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___.

Loves;
-Your name-

P/S: You are so lifeless, ___13___, -The name of the person that tagged you-.

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That Sour pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Grey - our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
>Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

13. What is your favorite activities when hanging out with mates?
Gathering for drinks - Ugly pig
Foosball - Silly duck
Shopping - French kisser
Dulging for food - Cranky banana
Movies - Smelly armpits
Snacks - Horny wolf
Snooker - Tiny nipples
Bowling - Sexy grandmother
Outdoor activities - Vain pot
Having a long talk - Nose plucker
Taking pictures - Dumb bitch
Other - Burn yourself

So.. the last person who left me a comment (tagbox) --- Evil Bunny Kins (taadaa!)

Dear Evil Bunny Kins;
I don't really know how to tell you this, but i'll join the monastery. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that sour pimples are at the last stage. I'm returning your old lottery coupons to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked eggplant fetishism. Go burn.

Loves;
Karine.

P/S: You are so lifeless, french kisser, Evil Bunny Kins.

TAG TIME:

1. Miyage
2. Pawsoh
3. Winnee
4. Danny
5. Lily

I'm back~From Kelantan.=)

2008-11-03T04:38:00.000Z

Phew,the trip to Kelantan ended earlier than expected. The time spent there is filled with...well, a lot of feelings. Tried to keep a memoir, so here it is in chronological order. =) I leave the passage written as they were, because they are based on my emotions for that particular day, so no change is made to the text. AT ALL.

P.S:/: Jo, don't worry too much.

31st October,Friday

OMG!!! We're going to Kelantan tomorrow! Ahhhh! I so do not have time for this~ Gonna take a nap first, after that, I'll eat my early dinner. Then, I'll have to go for water color class. I did all this and went home. At approximately 10pm, I received a call. It was Madame Rose.

'Hey, you were suppose to call me.'

'Um.. Sorry teacher, i was in art class.'

'OK, fine. There is something i need to tell you Karine. Lulu and Bessi are not coming... So you will have to speak..'

'No, wait. What!? What do you mean by they are not coming? I thought they've agreed to c..'

'Well, you see Karine. This is what happened, everything was so last minute. You see..Bessi says.....'

Thus, with a sad, disappointed tone and sounded as if she's choking back her tears, Madame Rose explained everything. That Lulu is not coming because she's sick and how Bessi has agreed to go but canceled again after finding out that Lulu is not going. Teacher explained Bessi's reasons. To Madame Rose, it may seem unreasonable, but i think i could make some sense out of it...Because teacher keeps on reassuring Bessi that with her presence there, the team would definitely win and such. But without Lu, which is like another huge part of the team AND also Bessi's moral supporter, Bessi thinks that she can't do it? I mean, its scary...The pressure of having to win(more like HAS to win), what if she can't? I think she just doesn't want to disappoint people, IF she were to disappoint.

And so the pressure is on...

*****************************************************************************

1st November, Saturday

Got up early in the morning at 6.30am, after only 2 and a half hours of sleep. Was packing and doing missing scripts with the help of Low the night before, i was so pissy for not checking properly, and was so totally venting my anger on him; also, I couldn't think logically at that time( so sleepy, right? )and i kept on asking for opinions and stupid questions. Thank goodness Low was there to help; surprised me totally that he's actually so responsible...Maybe its because of the other two girl's absence? So we did the script until 3 in the morning, and after that i went packing for one hour and then to sleep. And so woke up at 6.30am and did some last minute packing and checking.

After checking and packing, i took a bath and did some washing up, i want to look properly groomed, unlike my usual days where i look like a mutt. I took the bag down from upstairs and outside the house, before long, i started sweating again. This frustrates me. Soon after mom came out looking gorgeous. She asked me to check once again, make sure that i don't leave out ANYTHING. After that, I left with mom at 8am for the airport. We ate breakfast and rushed to MAS airport. Our flight is at 10.20am but we need to be there by 9am. As the car approaches the airport entrance, i could already see John, his mother, Low and Low's parents sitting on one of the many rows of bench that is near the entrance. Mom handed me RM300 to buy souvenirs and also for daily needs. Reluctantly, we said gave our loves and bid each other good bye. I took my bags down from the passenger's seat and walked into the airport.

Madame Rose was out of sight. Low says that she has prayer meeting. So, we waited. The anticipation and the adrenaline rises within me. I wanted to get this over with so quickly. I feel like i just want to slay all my opponents. As that thought raced in my head, i observe some minor insignificant happenings. Low's parents were talking to him. They were anxious too, i can tell. John's mom did the same, after that she went to buy mineral water for each of us. What a considerate and warm soul. How i was in awe. My parents won't do any of this as they do not really show their affection openly.I know that all too well. But as long as i bear the thought that they love me in mind... I know it.

Time passes by quick. Madame Rose came, we registered, we did all the rituals needed to go on board the metal bird. Two birds actually.

After we reach Kelantan airport, we took our luggage and went aboard the travel bus. Idiot SARAWAKIEN debaters took their luggage up with them and practically hogged up the space. Low made a funny sarcastic comment...

'why is your luggage here?'

'because there is no booth.'

'then WHERE is our luggage? IN THE BOOTH.'

'good point.'

But then, its already too late, because the front is ALREADY full. So in the end, Low and a few Negeri Sembilan people had to stand up through the journey upon reaching Perdana hotel. Negeri Sembilan people looks like they loathe us or something...When we reached there, jaws dropped. WIDE OPEN. Its totally different from what we imagined it to be. TOTAL CRAP HOLE. The registry sucks, the organizing sucks even more. Everyone from Sabah was separated into different rooms except for John and Low. You can imagine, right?

Lets cut it short, we clean up, had dinner(food was terrible), and started memorizing and stuff.

We've got a big day ahead of us. I don't want to disappoint teacher nor do i want to embarrass myself. I should at least promise myself that much.

**********************************************************************

2nd of November, Sunday

Today's the day. The day of our first match. Teacher keep assuring us that we'll do fine. And that we'll win. Personally i felt empowered. I will win; for teacher, for everyone who supported us, and myself.

I keep telling myself i'm good, i'm confident, the substance is solid, don't let anything affect you. Don't let anything or anyone pull me down. The fire is there.

I woke up at 6.30am and get ready. I woke the Kedah girls, obviously they won't be in shape to wake up on their own; chatting and giggling and flirting with their boyfriend through the phone.

I went on ahead. And i met up with teacher. We had breakfast, which is once again, horrible. The food served was so distasteful. Imagine only Nasi Kangar(sticky rice) with fish curry. Gross. However horrible it was, i permit myself to eat one spoon full of rice with curry sauce. I did not take the fish, as it poses a threat to my stomach. Eat some fruits and drank tea. Again, the management never seize to amaze me. With 12 states competing, each state consisting of 5 students and a teacher, which equals to:

*60 students
*12 teachers
*20 people from the ministry

32 person excluding the students are served porridge, fried noodles, baked beans, sausages, nuggets, sticky rice, soup, bread, beef stew.....You get my picture. How crude and how unfair!

Soon after that, the competition starts. As in tradition, we get 1 hour of quarantine time. By this time, nervousness, and incompetence kicked in. I was going to get hysteria stricken. But i tried, really i did, to keep myself together.
Soon after, the competition started. I do not want to go into detail. In the end we lost. Teacher broke into tears, so did Low. I can't stand it! How i've disappointed everyone! I broke into tears too. I called Jo right away. I wasn't thinking straight anymore, i cried and whined. I tried choking back my tears, and halfway,i thought:'what am i doing? As if she's not worried enough?!' So i cut the conversation short.

I went out of the hall...and straight to the seaside.

I felt the serenity there,i felt calm. I breathe in. I put my everything down and took off my shoes and my socks. I just wanted to feel the seawater running through my toes. I cried there. There were spectators, but i don't care. The sound of the waves splashing, the mild howling of the wind, the rustle of the trees...

God, i need to find peace.

I calmed down a bit.

Soon after i heard teacher calling my name. I picked up my stuff and walked towards her. We stopped under a coconut tree, and she assured me that the reason she's sad and disappointed is not because we didn't win. But is because of Bessi and Lulu. She said, looking at Negeri Sembilan's presentation she KNOWS that, with Bessi here, how we could easily win.

She assured me that for a first timer, my performance was already good even with one day's training. Imagine if we trained longer. We lost because everything was prepared on such last notice. I was in a trance, the next thing i know, we were shopping in town.

We stopped at the first floor which is the snack section. All of us bought Kelantan's infamous dodol. After that, we went to the second floor. We shopped like crazy. Females bought batik while guys bought slingshots. I bought 1 pure silk batik, 3 half silk ones, 4 cotton batik, and 2 sarongs. Which costs:

*pure silk:(RM120>>>RM100)X 1 =RM100
*half silk:(RM50>>>RM40)X 3=RM120
*cotton:(RM15>>>RM10)X 4=RM40
*sarong:2 for RM25=RM25
TOTAL=RM 285

*1kg dodol:RM7
*assorted flavour dodol:RM10
*honey glazed peanut and sesame biscuit:RM4
*coconut shaving dessert:RM1
TOTAL=RM22

TOTAL TOTAL=RM307

RM360-RM307=RM53

after that, we went for lunch. By then i was cheered up. I ordered fried noodles and a lychee syrup drink for a very cheap price. For a plate of fried noodle that would have cost us RM5 here in Sabah cost me only RM3.50. And what would have cost us about RM1.50, was sold at RM 1 for a glass of Lychee syrup drink.

Lets just round it off:
RM53-RM5=RM48-RM8(TAXI FARE)=RM40

The people there is quite generous, i finished my drink and they offered me free drinking water. Its plain water though. But heck, you can't get that back here in Sabah.

After that we went back to the hotel, cleaned up and went to the airport. Despite the fact that i almost left my laptop there and has to walk back to the chalet 2 times, everything were going quite smoothly.

We reach KL and went for our dinner.

RM40-RM12=RM28

After that i used my remaining money to buy famous amos.

RM28-RM25=RM3

SO...This trip left me broke.We were cheered up, all of us. We're going to enter the terminal when suddenly teacher went to hug someone. It was Bessi's mom. Funny how fate works. Then suddenly, people started jerking up tears again(except for John, i wonder). Madame Rose had a long talk with her. I don't know what they were talking about. I didn't listen. I don't want to know.

We went on board the plane........................

Like a doll, and exhausted, i slept on the plane. All i could remember was that, my fellow team mates slept on my shoulder. Just this once i felt like i'm protecting them. In that moment...Just that moment...

We took our luggages and bid each other goodbye. I went home in mom's car, i felt so relieved. Finally i'm back home with my family and i'm gonna see my friends soon. I'm filled with a sense of warmth, i felt loved, safe, and i am grateful.

When i reach home, i've forgotten about all the small talk we've had in the car. It was 1am already. In the living room, I told mom everything; my thoughts, what happened, the good and the bad moments. I felt empowered, and i still am. Going to Kelantan was not a mistake, it taught me something, and made me realize many things. After that,i enter my room. And serenity just caught up with me, though the pain in my heart is still there. But i know, at least i'm not alone. Never in my life have i felt so appreciative. I tucked my self in after washing up, i prayed that i will have the sweetest dream about my family and friends and i prayed that they had the same dream. With that i drifted into slumber and thus my journey ended...

Tag~i'm it~...( =x='')

2008-10-29T11:36:00.000Z

Ok...Let's see, shall we...hm...Jo tagged me n now i HAVE to do this.So here goes nothing...

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Um...i don't know wad kind of lame and crappy question this is,but i'll say hurt? A lot? Won't we all? Duh~~~? Yish. Bakamitai.

next,

What will your dream wedding be like?
Something warm, unique, n totally romantic. Doesn't have to be fancy, simple is fine. Coz i believe a marriage is a bonding of two individuals. (>x<).BUT, I GET to design my own wedding gown~haha.(*w*)

On your wedding day, what would you like to see? My closest friends? =) N my family? N d groom? Dun wan him to run away now do we? Congratulations, question setter for providing yet another dumb question. >:)

Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Heck no! I prefer the term forced n all planned out FOR me? Thank you for making me realize how crappy my future is,u fag.(=x=)

What's your ideal lover like?
Someone dat I can rely on, understanding, caring, smart.N most IMPORTANT, humourous~~~~~(>w<) :/:SARCASM DOES NOT APPLY.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Umm.No offense,but r u a bloody person? Nothing can be done la!!!~Yish...
( =3='')

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Yes.These tag questions.

Who are currently the most important people to you?
Hmmm, family, friends, myself? God? wait..God is not a person is he?He's...God!

Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
Neither.Duh?==''

What's the first thing you do every morning?
Open my eyes?o.o

Would you give all in a relationship?
Depends.I'll do the same as he does.

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would u pick?
Obviously,the one that fits my criteria.The criteria?S.E.C.R.E.T. I'll know whn i meet him. ;)

What type of friends do you like?
Sarcastic, caring, humourous, faithful, understanding and well prepared for my blabbermouth n my constant abuse. xD

What type of friends do you dislike?
Back-stabbers, fakers, hypocrites, those who dont get sarcasm, pretentious, prejudice, racist.

Are you a virgin?
Errr.. yes?Only 16 ok?=="
Yet another bad question. Ur on a bad-questions-setting streak!

Have you ever lied to your parents?
I know u HAVE.==''

What did u lie about?
If u can spare me a year,i'll tell u all of it.AS IF I COULD?cn U count urs?Yish.

Currently are u having any crush on anyone?
Yes. nt telling.///x///
I know its obvious, so those who know, shut your trap.>:)

Hint about him/her.
Humourous. Have a lot in common. Copes with me.///

Do you think the guy/girl knows?
Yes-ish?o.o''

What phrases you usually say when something unexpected happens?
LOL, shyt, holy.... or WTHECK?>:)

What annoys you the most?
The annoying person who set these questions.==''

What is your current obsession?
Anime. Manga. Chocolates. Drawing. Painting. Sleeping. Dreaming.

Who do you short text the most these days?
Sorry, handphone went bye-bye when into the washing machine express.

Who do you miss alot now?
My friends?N my mom's side of the family.

Which secondary school friend you miss the most right now.
Hamster, KLL, Davina, Sherelyn n Vivian.

Who do you idolize now?
Well,i wouldn't go as far as idolizing...i'll say i admire Celine Dion, Meryl Streep, Oprah and ABBA?

Best girl friends?
Joanna, MeiYong, Eileen, Hamster, Amanda.

Best boy friends?
Pawsoh, Hopperilla, Derek?

Biggest fear?
Hm...cockroaches.Humiliation. Ahh,n being ignored.

Favourite hang out place?
A peaceful place like by the seaside, a small soothing little indie cafe or an art gallery.

If you were to go out with a group of friends, who will u choose?
Depends.But i'll definitely have my best friends there.O.o

Made any new friends recently?
Nope..Does sleeping count?o.o

What kind of mood are you in most of the time?
Hyper, Hysterical, Emo, Tipsy frm all the laughing.

Do you like the person who tagged you?
LOL. Yes? My best friend wad?(owo)

I tag:
miyage
eileen
hopperilla
derek

:/:provided if u hav a blog,of course.

Manga Mania~~~!!!and a series of weirdness...

2008-08-09T09:29:00.000+01:00

Today was a totally freakish day, I wasn't aware of my previous post's content and when Ayu told me bits of it, i was so freaked out and embarrassed!~I keep begging her to delete my link from her blog.But that persistent bunny just won't budge, as if she wants to see what will be the outcome IF some one were to see the contents.Man~~~I begged her like hell, like a pauper begging for a morsel of food.After 30 whole minutes(or maybe more than that) she finally said:'I don't have a computer now, no matter how much you beg me i still can't delete it right now can i?'Crap~~~~~~~~~~~~~?'and all bull crap!But thank goodness i was in a good mood.after some mild hitting and nudging and almost rip her sleeve off and went through the day's class, i went home!Wahahahahaaaaa...Finally,I edited my entries~Thank goodness not many people saw my blog,because my Ayu(whose blog is quite popular)linked my blog, and there's many embarrassing...erm... issues?Shall we say? on those entries(i can't help it,was in the mood at the time)...Phew.Hahahaha.crap it.Don't mind me,i'm vulgar,emo,and extra spunky online.I'm a little nicer in real life.A LITTLE.

Well,whatever...back to topic.Lately,I've have this serious urge to read manga(which is Japanese for comics,FYI)so i went online to read at least 2 books worth of pages every now and then.And i've found many interesting titles like Akuma To Love Song(The Devil's Love Song), Hot Gimmick, BuLaDi-Kisu(Bloody Kiss)<
Frankly, i prefer reading manga because it doesn't take such a freaking long time to load like animes. Gawd,people would turn old and wrinkly just to wait for free online animes to load. So i keep on reading..and reading..

And now i ran out of interesting mangas to enjoy, urgh, so revolting.Every now and then i will come across an interesting titled manga but when i view it, porn-y, horny, ecchi, hentai ones came out. Disgusting.What is wrong with people now a days?Uploading those kind of manga online,the nerve!They are insulting the good name of manga, manga is suppose to bring people joy and entertainment; not to satisfy people's gnawing hunger for nudity and lust!Honestly, those hormone-raging-psycho-freaky-apes should be stopped!And what's more, they ACTUALLY EARN money from this!!!Gah!!!!!

That's why lately i've been drawing a lot to vent my anger(i'm quite the artist,just in case you don't know)I'm trying to make a statement that even though anime girls are not drawn nude, they can be just as beautiful. But i think no one is aware of my goal and the only people i show my drawings to are my BFF...I'm SO PATHETIC. Anyways, thanks to manga reading, i've got a lot of inspiration and ideas for my drawings.They just keep flowing into my head, and it drives me, i can feel inspiration flowing through my veins and my blood, after that, my hand just moves on its own accord as though i'm in a different world; engulfed by pleasure.

I really hope that one day hentai mangas will dissappear.And i hope evil bunny-kins will start giving me the time of day...=.=

Lucky you, i still love mah best friends.

My Trip to KL, for HELP.

2008-04-28T04:22:00.000+01:00

Again, I'm gonna blabber--A LOT. That's what blabbermouths do~

oN THE 25TH OF aPRIL--I went to Kuala Lumpur for this debate competition. Not that i really care, i just thought that i could shop 'til i drop, i mean, i AM in KL, and KL IS like the Big Apple in Malaysia..so..naturally, ANY girl would wanna explore and have fun. I went there with my fellow debaters: Ayu, Hamster, and of course Boey.

There's a lot of bad side to it though, because we're in the midst of an important exam--mid term exam. So all of us were like OH MY GOSH! We need to do the scripts! This is because we get our titles late ,unlike those schools in KL--lousy, bias cheaters. Other than that, we still need to study! Think about it, scripts won't be written on their own which equals to time, studying is not as easy as swallowing pills of knowledge in cartoons--which again, equals to TIME! Well, sad to say..But we don't have TIME! Well not enough of it, at least..Well, everyone else is so intelligent, u know? Getting good grades in their academics and such..You could say that i'm d dumbest debater there so..Naturally i would worry, but strangely the other's are more fidgety and panicky about the whole idea! Except for Boey though..Always CALM and STEADY.freaky...

Well duh--he's like a genius that everyone's talking about. Even his friends say so:'Boey, every time that you say that you'll fail, you ended up getting A's or B's, the worst result you ever get are C's.'..I just smiled at that remark, but inside my reaction was :'What the heck?! Inferiority acting on the idiot amongst the group here~?' Eckhem..moving on..Anyways, all of us did the script two or three days early, in the midst of exam, and Madame Rose, supposedly our mentor don't give a crap about we're about to go through! She'll always reply us when we SUPPOSEDLY bug her ABOUT IT:'don't worry, it's only for exposure.' My foot. It's our pride and dignity on the line, not yours; of course for crap's sake you "DON'T WORRY"!Urgh..

Anyways, an escort was assigned to bring us there--Mr Clueless. (well, i'm even MORE clueless but..whatever). He escorted us there to KL. Anyways, back to my fellow debaters instead of boring old Mr Clueless, not interesting, never has been and never will. Man, i'm mean. But it's true--70% of it. We're SOOO excited to go to KL! Ayu, Hamster and I; i think so does Boey, secretly. Anyways we reach the air port and boarded a 2 and a half hour flight to KL. We get express boarding, unlike the Tsung Tsins(err..is this how it's spelled?like i care.) who have to wait in line and unable to sit together on board the airplane. Hah! in your face girls! Well, not to be mean here, it's just that they are a bunch of self absorbed, selfish, insensitive, unthoughtful, spoiled bitches who doesn't care whether they hurt other people's feeling or not! I mean, when they really start dissing, you really start hating. In short, they ARE a bunch of bitches; pretty and yet ugly sort of bitches who discriminates chubby-but cute people!

Why? Well, here's an explanation why i stated so. About why i say that they are selfish, unthoughtful and self absorbed; all of us, including the bitches got off the plane and HAS to board the same van TOGETHER. They wanted to sit in the front part of the van, that's where all the air-conditioners are; they wanted to hog it to themselves because of the REALLY warm temperature. Well, that's okay, its fine--but why in the world do they go on the van FIRST! Either those dick heads really doesn't have a clue or enough commonsense to know that by going in first and hogging the front seat will make it hard for other people to enter to the back, or; they just really want people to suffer and laugh about it. Talk about real scheumanfraude! Meaning enjoy and get happiness, or satisfaction out of other's suffering. And they keep on looking at Ayu and i AS IF we're some kind of rare species and then look at themselves using a mirror AS IF they are the most beautiful thing in the world! PUH-LEEZE..Get therapy, girls! PHYCHO-therapy for that matter.

Next, why i say that they are insensitive, spoiled and don't care whether they hurt other people's feelings or not; when they went up the van unthoughtfully first, one of the girls shouted :'all the fat asses sit in the back, and after that look me straight in the eye and then at Ayu, then turned away. Other girls approved by nodding and by saying 'yeah.' as silent as possible as if i can't hear what they say, as if--we're idiots and they are too good for us. Spoiled, you could know through the contents of their conversation, not to eavesdrop; it's just that they talk SO loud! And plus, as if i want to listen to their conversation. Anyways, their conversation just shows how vain they are; is my hair messy? Do i look fat in these pants? At least not as bad as those girls in the back..whisper whisper, mumble mumble...laugh laugh laugh..Crap them..If i were to slim down and if Ayu were to slim down we'll be prettier than you guys would ever be! Without makeup! Hmph..and plus, i think they loose their debate on purpose because they wanted to go shopping the next day.

Well, enough about those vain creeps. Anyways..When we reach the hostel on Friday night, they gave us two rooms. One for teacher and Boey to share and one for Ayu, Hamster and I to share. We got our keys and went to our room, teacher's and Boey's room is in the fourth floor, while our room; the three girls is on the EIGHTEENTH floor! Thank goodness there's elevators for us to use. When the three of us reach our floor, we were quite shocked to find that the hallway is like the hallways in a prison cell, as we talk it will send echoes everywhere. Despite that, our room was nice, small but cozy. Hamster suggested that three of us combine the two beds together so that it'll be much more comfortable for the three of us. With that said, we unpacked a bit and went out for dinner or supper.

All the shops that sell food is within walking distance, an approximate fifteen minutes walk. We can't decide between KFC, McDonald's, Secret Recipe, Subway, or Pizza Hut; so we went to this mamak stall to eat. But it turns out that all the food were too spicy for Boey, Hamster and also teacher! So with money wasted and food unfinished we left the stall with the Indian shop keeper scowling and glaring at us as we leave. We went into seven eleven while teacher went to KFC to order a take away. Hamster bought a sandwich while the rest of us just browse around. After that crappy dinner, all of us went back to the dorm. We went back to our room, take all the things needed for our discussion and went to the first floor--as i like to call it, the wi-fi room~, to do our scripts. When we get back to our room, i slept like a log as soon as my head hit the pillow while Ayu and Hamster talk. I must admit, i was a bit green eyed because i was left out of most of the conversation.

The next day, it is time. All of us were so stressed! We went to register and found out that HELP university actually wanted last year's debate champions,--Bessima, Lu, and Chloe; to go for the debate, not us noobies. Which is why we are so stressed! We practiced and make palm cards, we made last minute preparations. And we won. The first round. The judges said taht we were equally horrible though, its just that we won because of our stand. We have a clear stand while they don't. Even though we won, we're not happy at all. No, its far from that, we were devastated. because this means that we need to stay up all night doing our scripts again for the next round. For the next round, we lost.We suffered because of it a lot. Everyone gets cranky because we lack sleep. We did our scripts last minute and lack of content, also because our opponents went to spy on us and heard our discussion and saw our scripts..so we lost.Sobxx..And the worst thing is the judge keeps on dissing Boey which i think hurt his feelings a lot because all this while he was the best speaker amongst us. And hamster too, its her first time actually debating but she was REALLY down because of it. Poor hamster.We still love you, Ayu and I.HA HA.

That day when we lost, we packed everything and went out the debate venue sad, miserable and hurt. Hamster went into the washroom, Ayu went in after her. I didn't realize what was going on, everything happened too fast. As if everything went by me like shadows. I noticed that Boey went ahead. I know he was sad. I wanted to comfort him, but i just stood there. Soon Hamster and Ayu came out. I comforted Hamster and offered to treat everyone to Secret Recipe to celebrate and to forget and take our minds off things. Hamster was taking things so hard, she blame it on herself, but it's not anyone's fault; and she did well for a first timer.However, i still felt really bad, because i know she almost cried because of that. Ayu, Hamster and I walk together until we met Boey up ahead. Boey startled me when he ask:' How in the world did she get way over there?I saw her in the front a while ago.' I smiled. He was worried about Hamster! That's why he went ahead. I figured he wanted to comfort her or something. Today for once i realize, Boey is not being cold and he's not being careless towards us; he's just shy and finds it hard to express himself.i think.. On Sunday, he revealed a small section of his true nature. And i was really pleased. It seems to make me feel much better, in a way.

But as we set out the university, anger rushed through me. I figured, i need an outlet. And quick! So i walked, i walked really fast. I can feel my blood rushing through me, desperately, i wanted to scream and shout, curse and wail. But i kept myself going, i kept walking. I can hear my own breath, every huff and puff. I can hear my my heart beat, pounding clearly; every single thud. Until i reached the dorm door then i realize that i am out of breath, but my rage resided a bit. I turned back and saw Boey catch up a while later wearing a concerned face. He ask me why do i walk so fast, i just replied i wanted an outlet. I just find it quite queer, why did Boey strain so much to keep up with me? He could just simply walk together with Ayu and Hamster. With this, i felt annoyed. The elevator opened, Boey and I went in. Without waiting for Ayu and Hamster. I said bye to Boey when we reached his floor and i went out when i reach my floor. When i stepped out of the elevator, without people talking and blocking out my sense of hearing, i realized my heart was still pounding. I waited for the pounding to cease and resume it's normal speed. After a while, Ayu and Hamster came up.

We went back to our dorm, and i wanted to stop thinking about the pounding sensation. I wanted to take my mind off things. But i don't know what to talk about. Debate. It seems like the most natural thing to discuss about at the time. I turned out complaining. Both Ayu and Hamster thought that i was weird, Hamster mentioned that a while ago i was fine and asked me what am i fussing about. I don't know how to answer her, so i just simply said i don't know. There was a moment of awkward silence but they managed to find a topic to talk about. So we talked, and changed into a set out outing clothes, and we started packing everything. All of us reminisce on how we're going to miss KL, though we didn't get to go shopping.After that, i realize i didn't bring my pencil box back from our debate venue. Ayu suggested we go there before we get our lunch. So as soon as it's said, we returned Rooney's laptop, get Boey and went out. Finally!

I liked walking to the university, i like speeding up, i liked the feeling of the breeze rushing through the waves of my hair, i fasten my pace and without realizing it, i was jogging. Again, Boey's behind me. I wanted to shake him off. But i didn't, i just walk fast so he doesn't strain himself. We went down the university. To the debate venue. It's locked. I turned back and asked the security guard and they mentioned that they found it but handed it into the management. It been a while now, but my heart is still pounding, i was scared.

So i ran. I ran as fast as i could, until Boey can't catch up, until i get the droning sound in my ears, until i was out of breath. But its no use, Boey caught up; eventually. "Do you know that you're the fastest runner i've ever saw?" "No, i didn't know that." After that, everything he said was blocked out. A while later, Ayu and Hamster caught up with us. I asked the management crew and two of them offered to get the pencil case for me. What a relief, i can't run anymore. One of the three asked Boey whether he could get a picture of Boey and himself together, which gave me an uneasy feeling. But it turns out, that the guy wanted to show the picture to his friend who looks like Boey. What a relief! Wait, what a relief? Anyways, after i get my pencil case, we went for lunch. I walk in front of Boey this time. Talking for a bit. I was...glad.My widdle pencil case is back home with mommy~

We went for lunch, for McDonald's. Strangely, Boey ate chicken nuggets and a double cheese burger! I mean, he's so health conscious. We went back to the dorm. This time i out walk Boey. I'm sick all of a sudden. Everything went blur, when i start to realize things.. I was already on the plane back to Sabah. Off the plane and in my house. Sometimes i felt that my body isn't mine, most of the things that happened i forgot. And that's the end of my trip. These few days i felt and realize a few things, and missed A LOT because i can't focus. This is so ridiculous. Everything was a blur, remember?

Anyways, there's nothing special with the title, i just wanted to make it sound queer, really weird, really chic, and really--ME.